New Horizons is a Mennonite ministry that does foster care for the children of prison inmates. I had been somewhat involved since it began in 1992 in our little mountain community of Westcliffe, Colorado. In June of 1993 when we were living on the Kennicut / Comstock ranch. Our sons, Jason, Jarod, and I were outside working with the boys 4-H pigs. Barb came out to the pig pen with a question. New Horizons had called and asked if we would take a short-term placement for a baby who had just been born. “So, what do you think?” Jason and Jarod were excited. I was more guarded. With Summer beginning, not only was I a local pastor, but we had the county fair, the boy’s basketball camp, some fence work, and a winter’s worth of firewood to cut. I said to Barb, “Well, if that’s how you want to spend your summer; it’s up to you.” Little did we know that the next day, when we went to St. Thomas Moore Hospital in Canon City to pick up a little 5 1/2-pound baby girl named Jasmine, that It would not be a short placement, and our lives would be changed forever. When she was eighteen months old, Jasmine’s biological mother decided to take her to live with her. I took Jasmine to Denver, placed her crying in her mother’s arms, and drove away. I had no choice. We were foster parents, not legal guardians. Three months later, New Horizons called again. Another baby was to be born, and they had no home available. We had six hours to decide, so at supper that evening we had a family discussion. At the time, Jason was 17 and Jarod was 14. Our son Jarod looked me in the eye and said, “Dad, if we don’t love this baby, who will?” Jason and Barb were also on board with adding to our family again. Reluctantly, I agreed. The next day, New Horizons delivered to our home, another beautiful 5-pound three-ounce African-American girl named Le’Brea (pronounced Le’Bria). Jasmine returned to our home three months later to increase our family to six. During the next several years, we would make trips to Colorado correctional facilities to visit Jasmine’s mother and Le’Brea’s mother and father. 

When each of our girls was about five years old, and the biological parental circumstances were very unstable, Barb and I hired a lawyer and pursued and won legal custody. The girls grew and thrived. Jasmine was involved in sewing and cooking in 4-H. She enjoyed them both, and helped Barb with cooking and baking. Le’Brea showed pigs, lambs, and steers at the fair and loved horseback riding. During her Elementary and Middle School years, she was my shadow. She would drop everything to go to the barn with me to feed animals, fix fence, or check on the steers we pastured.

In July before her senior year of high school, Le’Brea wanted to know her biological family and set off for Denver with one of her biological brothers. Over the next six years, she faced grown-up challenges: the ups and downs of her Denver family, getting her G.E.D., work, paying bills, and a move to Georgia with her boyfriend, where her son, Dupri, was born in 2013. Le’Brea moved back home to Colorado, with Dupri, to live with Barb and me where she gave birth to her second son, Creed, in 2017. 

After Creed was born, Le’Brea moved back to Denver. The plan was that Dupri and Creed would stay in Westcliffe with “Bean” and Papa until Le’Brea got a job and got settled. She visited her sons in Westcliffe regularly, and called them every day.  Le’Brea found work at Denver International Airport with a rental car business. She dated a boy, who like her, had been adopted by white parents. Their relationship soon grew toxic, and Le’Brea subsequently had to be rescued by her biological brother, called 911 twice, and also filed a restraining order.

In December of 2018, Le’Brea had planned to come to Westcliffe for Christmas. On December 23, we received a text from Le’Brea’s phone saying that she would be a little late. She never arrived. We contacted Shannon Byerly, our local sheriff, who called Aurora police, and helped us file a missing person report. We also reported Le’Brea’s car stolen. We are deeply grateful for Shannon’s insight and assistance. More than two weeks later, on January 8, our worst fears were confirmed when Le’Brea’s body was found stuffed into a storage tub and dumped at an abandoned truck stop at the Aguilar exit on I-25 in Las Animas County. She would have been 24 years old the following March 6. Her former boyfriend was found guilty of second-degree murder and five other charges. He was sentenced to 71 years in prison with the first possibility of parole being after 50 years.

If we could have foreseen on that day in 1995, what the future would bring, would we have taken the risk of such heartbreaking loss? As our lives were intertwined with the lives of our two beautiful daughters, I am humbled by what Barb and I have learned, or, at least are in the process of learning. We are learning that we do not control life, to a great extent, we simply receive it. How we receive it is our choice: we can live in bitterness for the loss of Le’Brea, or we can live in gratitude for the blessing of time with her that was given us. We are learning that love is never wasted. The love we gave to Jasmine and Le’Brea and the love we received from them is not measured by its years but in its meaning. When the girls were grown, this love continued. It was evident in Le’Brea’s devotion to Dupri and Creed. Although it was brief (Dupri was five and Creed was one when Le’Brea died), her love for them was very obvious. We are learning that relationships are not built by great gestures but by paying attention to the simple, ordinary, and daily nuances of life.

Our journey into family has given us a new appreciation for the words of Jesus, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” Matthew 16:24-25 As author Bob Benson has said, “You’re going out to live life. Don’t take too good care of yourself. Find some things that matter, stick your neck out, spill some blood, spread some love. The sin is not in breaking rules—it’s in holding back.”

Holding back, playing it safe, and pursuing self-interest maybe would have been more enjoyable and spared us much grief. However, to risk everything for something greater than ourselves is to truly live.